Light in the Sky

Thank you my little one.

I know you did not want to be awake any more than I did last night, but I also know that the time has come for you to nightwean and learn to sleep through the night, and so I was holding and rocking you as you cried, rather than just nursing you back to sleep.

And because we were awake, and because we were in the living room (due to your crying, and my desire to let everyone else sleep), I saw light outside in the sky.

And because I saw light, and because I knew what it was, I put on our coats and hats and bundled you inside my coat and took you outside.

And we walked over by the water, where we could feel the wind and smell the saltwater and hear the rolling surf and be out of the yellow glow of the streetlights.

And we looked up, in the glorious darkness of this week's new moon, and we watched the greens edged with purples of the northern lights as they danced in the sky.

photo from here, no I didn't take it, but it was taken here in Kotzebue and it is what they looked like last night

As I walked home, I fell to wondering:

If the Sun shows us Father God and the Moon shows us Mother Goddess, what is the Aurora? Is it the Spirit? Everywhere and moving and bright to see if only we can free ourselves of the little earthbound lights all about us?

And I also remembered that in one of my college literature classes we read an (otherwise horrible) book where one of the characters said that an orgasm was like a rainbow all over inside of her. As I was watching the lights move and change I was thinking how they were very sensual, and that maybe they're like a cosmic orgasm, a visual representation of the hieros gamos, you know? God and Goddess joining to create balance in the universe and make lights fill the sky!

I don't know which interpretation of the aurora I like better. Perhaps I will hold on to both. I do know that when I see them I feel a sense of awe and wonder that assures me that there is something Divine out there, and that we can touch it.

For All Eternity ~ An Anniversary Ritual

Wedding anniversaries are a great time to do a little ritual of your own. I searched the internet for 'vow renewal' and 'handfasting' to come up with ideas for the ritual we did at our last anniversary.

First I spent some time writing a sort of vow renewal. I knew there would not be an officiator, and in my case I was doing it as a surprise for my husband, so I knew he would not have anything to read back to me, so I didn't worry about it being a bit on the long side (it was almost a full page).

I gathered a bunch of tealights, and one larger candle, and arranged them in a spiral on our table. The spiral is a symbol for "eternity" and since we have a temple sealing, we are married for eternity and I wanted a symbol of that. I laid them out on a ribbon because without the ribbon it just looked like a bunch of candles, the spiral wasn't clear. (The ribbon and central candle were different shades of blue, which was what we'd had for our wedding colors.)

Then, after the kids were in bed, I turned out all the lights, lit the candles, and brought my husband into the room. We held hands and I read him the things I had written.
Here is an excerpt:

And so, seven years later, I still give myself to you, to be your faithful partner, constant friend, devoted lover, and imperfect housekeeper for time and all eternity. With the knowledge that there is opposition in all things, I still commit to walk together with you on the path toward eternity, whether in the valleys or on the mountain tops or on the monotonous switchbacks in between. I promise to follow the Lord by your side, as priest and priestess, supporting one another on our way to become the god and goddess we have the potential to become.
And when the road is long, or the journey hard, I still covenant to stand with you against the whirlwind. For all eternity.

Source ideas for what to write/read:

• search the internet for "personalized wedding vows" or "vow renewal"
• lyrics of romantic songs (especially if you have a song that is special to you as a couple)
• consider metaphors for married life: such as harmony, a growing plant, or riding together in a car (can you think of others? please comment!)

 A few other ideas:

• Share some ritual food or drink, perhaps foods that you had at your wedding, or maybe feeding each other.
• Have yourself some Hieros Gamos!

Hieros Gamos ~ The Great Rite

Ancient traditions taught the idea of the hieros gamos, the "great marriage" or sacred sexual union between the God and Goddess. Sometimes it was literally enacted between the high priest and priestess, or between a priestess and the king, or some other pairing of that sort. At other times it was (or is) done more symbolically, by placing a dagger into a chalice, or winding ribbons on a may pole. In all cases it was symbolic of the union of Deity.

Why was this union such a big deal? Because it made balance between the forces of the universe: male and female, material and spirit, light and dark, stillness and motion... It joined opposites into a whole that was greater than the parts, and found resolution in the dichotomies of existence.  It re-calibrated nature so to speak. This union and balance were represented with symbols as well as actions. One that might be familiar is this one from the Middle East (one that most of us now recognize as the "Star of David"). 

Another translation of hieros gamos is "temple marriage." That certainly caught my eye from an LDS perspective since we teach that a temple marriage (or temple sealing) is the only kind that will last past death and for all eternity. Indeed, this hieros gamos is supremely important and sacred.
Take that in conjunction with the belief that we all have the potential to become gods/goddesses (some say we have a "godseed" in us), then when we practice hieros gamos we are indeed participating in the joining of deities.

Here is where I integrate this old idea with my modern life:
try looking at sex as a sacred ritual (for those who are not married of course you'll have to stick with just thinking about it, but for those who are married, try to take this perspective to bed with you next time and see how it goes!)
As Scott Cunningham said in his book, ancient shamans found spirituality and power "...through ecstasy--alternate states of consciousness in which they communed with the forces of the universe."  From this perspective, sexual experiences, in particular intercourse and orgasm, can be deeply spiritual.

Here are a few practical ideas for integration:

• Think about things like what I mentioned above (both in and out of the bedroom): the unified whole being greater than the parts, the physical unification being a symbol for spiritual and other unity in your marriage, etc. Discuss these ideas with your spouse.
• Lighting candles. We have a few fancy ones, but mostly we have cheap tealights and they work just as well. The ambiance of candlelight is not only romantic, but many religious ceremonies utilize candles, and the light/fire of a candle has many spiritual connotations.
• Try a bath (you can add candles there too!) Ritual washings are part of many religious observances, so try washing each other before proceeding to other activities.
• Massage one another with oil (or lotion). Anointing with oils and formalized touching are found in many spiritual practices. Take the opportunity to use repetitive motions and physical touch to arouse and relax your spirits as well as your bodies.
• Choose 'ritual' words, whether terms of endearment or phrases of desire, a few well-chosen words repeated each time (or within one time!) can add to the experience.
• Anything which shuts out the world can be a way to tune into the spiritual. So, in intimate times, shut out the world, and tune into your own spirit, your spouse's spirit, and the Spirit that is over your marriage.
• If consummation is the 'magic moment' (after which you are 'married' and would have to seek a 'divorce' rather than an 'annulment'), then every time you re-consummate your marriage it could be considered a way of renewing your vows. Think about that!

Reclaiming my Womanhood (a ritual)

I recently had an experience where I felt that my womanhood had been lost--or at least lessened. The specifics aren't relevant, because I think a lot of women have experiences or situations where they feel that they are broken, or damaged, or suppressed in their womanhood. Perhaps infertility or a miscarriage; perhaps a traumatic birth experience or a cesarean-section or hysterectomy; perhaps some form of abuse, or mental illness, or physical disability...or maybe something else altogether. Whatever it is, I think most women have times when they feel that they are less of a woman than they wish to be.
When I had my experience, I was down for a couple of days before I realized that this one specific thing was the source of my grief. Once I identified it, I was able to talk with a couple of friends about it, and that helped at the time, but after the conversations ended I came back off the high and was grieving again. I realized that if I was going to feel like a whole woman again, I would need to take matters into my own hands.

So I did.

First I determined what it was that I felt my womanhood was missing, and then I tried to find a way to refill that hole. In my case, it related to my fertility and my potential for procreation. Since the womb is one of the things that makes a woman distinct and separate from a man, (and since many of our situations tend to be fertility/birth related), I think the womb is a reasonable point of focus for this ritual. Depending on your specific situation, you may choose another part of yourself.

I chose a time when most of my family was away from home so I could be alone.

I chose a song that resonated with me in the moment. It is on the angsty side, and unfortunately the title is a word that many find offensive, but the song felt appropriate to me in the moment so I went with it anyway. Perhaps you'll be able to think of something gentler...or perhaps not. But the song I pulled up on youtube to play during my ritual was Meredith Brooks' "Bi*ch" I chose it because it talks about many aspects of being a woman, and about being ok with all of them. The chorus says "I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one. I'm a bi***. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I do not feel ashamed." Later lyrics also mention being a goddess and an angel. ☺

While the song played (on repeat), I sat in the sunshine, pulled up my shirt and rolled down my pants, and exposed my belly--my womb--to the light. I took deep breaths, drawing the clean air all the way deep into my uterus, and then exhaling all the negativity I had been feeling. I rubbed my belly, observing the roundness, sagging, and stretch marks that my pregnancies have left. After a little while of making peace with my body, I got out my henna and drew a goddess symbol below my navel, approximately over my uterus. (A pen or marker would have sufficed in the absence of henna.)
 

For those unfamiliar with the symbolism, the symbol for the Goddess shows the moon in its three phases (waxing, full, and waning) symbolizing the three stages of womanhood (maiden, mother, and wisewoman). It is a reminder that each aspect is as important as the others, and that all--especially all in combination--can define womanhood.

I continued to sit in the light while my henna set up. I made a mental list of the many womanly attributes that I maintain--in spite of the loss I had been feeling--and continued with my deep breathing until I felt better.

The henna will last a couple of weeks, so for that time I will have an ongoing physical reminder of my reclaimed womanhood.

Chinese New Year -Year of the Rabbit

My husband and children are Vietnamese. Chinese New Year, or new year to us, is a great time of celebration in our home.

When I decided to join the other women authoring this blog I didn't know much of anything about the moon, its phases or the Pagan wheel of the year. I felt a bit like I had jumped in the deep end of the pool without my floaties! Since then I have been reading every recommended book I can get my hands on - I must have 5 inter-library loan requests out! I never thought my study of the moon cycles would tie into a holiday we already celebrate.

Before there were calendars there were no 'years' and no 'new year'. The calendar is the longest lasting invention of any culture. The first calendar was lunar. In approximately 2637 B.C. after watching the moon's changing appearance, or phases, the Yellow Emperor Huang di and his scientists developed a "system of cyclical characters." In this system, ten days equaled one week, and three weeks made one month. A day paired a sumbol from the Ten Heavenly Stems with one from the Twelve Earthly Branches. Six repetitions of the Ten Stems and five of the Twelve Branches completed the cyle, a total of sixty days. These cycles were used to name the years during the first century. Later during the 1711 century B.C. the Shang dynasty made a lunar calendar based on months - the time between one new moon to the next. Each month was between twenty-nine and thirty days long.

One legend created in ancient China to help explain the mysteries of the universe tells of Heng-O and the twelve chinese moons. People thought there were twelve moons just as there were twelve months in one year. They also thought there were ten suns, just as there were ten days in the Chinese week. The mother of the twelve moons was also the mother of the ten suns. At the beginning of each month, the mother, Heng-O washed her children in a lake at the far western side of the world. Then each moon made of water, one after the other, traveled in a chariot for a monthlong journey to reach the opposite, east side of the world. There, the suns started their journey.

During the Shang dynasty the perpetual calendar was invented. By measuring the length of shadows during the year with a gnomon -the raised part of a sundial -and the length of each day using a water clock, astronomers were able to note the longest and shortest days of the year revealing two solstices and two equinoxes.
*The Chinese alendar is solar and lunar. It is based on the positions of the sun and the moon.
*The new moon is the first day of a lunar month.
*The chinese New Year falls between Jan 21 and Feb 20, the second new moon after the winter solstice.

Chinese New Year 2011, year of the Rabbit is February 3rd (there is some discussion that due to double months and moons in the Chinese calendar the new year doesn't actually begin until Friday the 4th). So we will have our new year's eve celebrations and our new moon observance all in one week!

Traditions our family has:
*We eat out at our favorite Asian resturaunt
*Each kid gets their own red envelope with as many dollars as they have years.



*Making paper lanterns.
*Fireworks!!



Activities I am adding this year:
*Ancestral Altar - Pictures of deceased relatives nearby. On New Year's Eve, flowers, food and candles are placed on the altar for the ancestors to show respect to them and to unify the family.
*Haircuts for the boys before the new year so as not to cut away good fortune during the year.
*Lantern Festival with friends - begins the first full moon of the Chinese New Year, February 18 (some celebrate the 15th day of the month).
*Door God posters - from the legend of two generals who served the emperor and protected his doorway at night. We will use a Goddess and God symbol. A goblet and an athame most likely on either side of our door.

Happy New Year and Blessed Be!

Self Blessing

This ritual is adapted from the Self Blessing ritual found in Appendix II of Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler. The book states that it was written by Ed Fitch in the late 1960s, and designated to be an introductory ritual for those who are searching and investigating the Pagan path.

This ritual might be performed during the new moon, or at any other time that the practitioner feels a need for it. The book says that "there is real power in the Self Blessing; it should not be used other than in time of need and should not be done promiscuously. The purpose of this ritual is to bring the individual into closer contact with the Godhead. It can also be used as a minor dedication [of oneself]. This self blessing ritual may also be used [to] banish any evil [or negative] influences which may have formed around the person.
"The result of the ritual is a feeling of peace and calm. It is desirable that the participant bask in the afterglow so that he may meditate and understand that he has called the attention of the Godhead to himself, asking to grow closer to the Godhead in both goals and in wisdom."

The ritual should be done in a quiet place, without distractions. The book recommends doing it nude, but this seems optional. I think this could also be done between spouses, or parent-to-child.

You will need the following:

• Salt, about one quarter teaspoon
• Wine, about an ounce, mixed into water, about one-half ounce (you might substitute this with water, olive oil, or water with some essential oil in it)
• Candle, votive or other

Sprinkle the salt on the floor and stand on it, lighting the candle. Let the warmth of the candle be absorbed into the body. Mix the water into the wine (or whichever anointing liquid you are using) while meditating upon your reasons for performing the self blessing.
Read the following aloud (or adapt it for your personal preferences):

Bless me, Father/Mother, for I am your child.
(Dip your fingers into the liquid and anoint the eyes)
Blessed be my eyes, that I may see your path.
(Anoint the nose)
Blessed be my nose, that I may breathe your essence.
(Anoint the mouth)
Blessed be my mouth that I may speak of you.
(Anoint the breast)
Blessed be my breast, that I may be faithful in my work.
(Anoint the loins)
Blessed be my loins, which bring forth the life of men and women as you have brought forth all creation.
(Anoint the feet)
Blessed be my feet, that I may walk in your ways.

Remain, and meditate for a while.