Mother Wheel Bloggers at Daughters of Mormonism

A few months ago, three of our Mother Wheel bloggers participated in an episode on Daughters of Mormonism discussing the symbols of the LDS temple garments. Through our journeys on the Mormon Pagan path (or Morgan if you will), we have felt led to finding meaning in places where we did not think to find it. It started with trying to find Mother in Heaven in the temple. We actually first found her in the garment, which them prompted the episode as we further expound on what other meaning can be found there and how Morgan thought can come alive there.

Jenni, Descent and Dryad are joined by sister Morgan blogger Like Unto Eve. They describe a ritual that helps wearers of the garment connect to its symbols and meaning outside the temple as well as an alternative interpretation to the meanings of the symbols. The quarternity is described and then speculation abounds.

It was actually from this episode that Mormon Moon Circle was conceived. The facebook group Wildly Speculative Feminist Mormon Theology was also conceived at that time. In addition to the garment ritual designed by Mother Wheel bloggers that is shared in the episode, Jenni shares a menstruation ritual in the comments.

You can also find Descent's and Jenni's panelist interviews along with descriptions of their Morgan Pagan paths in their episodes:

Jenni's episode: "Not in Conflict"

Descent's episode: Connected to this Life Part 1 and Part 2

Jenni was also featured as a panelist on the following episodes:
Finding Her Everywhere: Symbols of the Divine Feminine
Good Girl Syndrome Part 1 and Part 2
Garments- To Cover Our Nakedness

Descent was also featured in the following episodes:
 "Be Yourself (within certain parameters)" — Depression & Mormon Women Part I
"Walking the Labyrinth" — Depression & Mormon Women Part II
"Elementally You" — Depression & Mormon Women Part III

For another DoM episode with a decidedly Mormon Pagan bent, listen to:
Eve as a Balance of Christ

Daughters of Mormonism has stopped recording new episodes but the world of Mormon women's podcasts is just beginning and Mother Wheel will have more information to share as new podcasts are developed.

The Triquetra of the Year

One day this winter, I took a walk after it had snowed in my area. It wsa nearing evening so the light was low, the snow was sparkling and all was quiet. As I was walking, I sensed the sacred but for some reason felt that it was not the presence of God I was sensing but the presence of Mother. That confused me, initially. Typically, when I think of Mother, I think of verdant abundance, spring time, harvest and summer--not the cold, austere, harsh days of winter.

That caused me to pause. If I imagine Mother as a Maiden in Spring and Mother in Summer, than of course Winter, with the snow all around me, meant that I was surrounded by the twilight years of wisdom. Mother was there, in her Crone aspect, teaching me and reminding me that each woman needs a period of her life to slow down from the exuberence of youth, the toil and passion of motherhood, and find peace in stillness--that we are not alone when "change and decay in all around I see" (Abide with Me! Hymn # 166).

This line of thought introduced to me a new way to look at the Wheel of the Year. I love celebrating the changes in season through observing the patterns of the sun, as well of the moon. In observing the sun (a symbol of the masculine god), we celebrate the solstices and equinoxes and seasonal festivals. In observing the moon, we see the waxing and waning of the moon. Yet this new way, of dividing the seasons into correspondences with The Triple Goddess, lends a way to find the Goddess in the seasons.

TriquetraCommonly, the celtic knot symbol of the Triquetra is seen as a symbol for God the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. The symbol has become a symbol of masculine leadership though before that time, it was a symbol of the the Triple Goddess: Maiden, Mother, Crone. Being on my blended path of equally worshipping my Father and Mother God, I am happy to accept the symbol as both.


Seeing the seasons in terms of being ruled by one aspect of the Goddess, the triquetra becomes a symbol for this feminine correspondence to the wheel of the year. I recognize that this model only has three seasons which I too find fitting to the way that autumn and winter work together. In my own experience and observation, motherhood is distinct its its seasons. Young mother is very different that more mature mother, yet not quite crone. Perhaps that stage deserves its own phase, but that is a another post for a different day.

Now, the wheel is turning and we are approaching Spring. I see signs of the Maiden Goddess around me with birds singing, trees blossoming, and flowers blooming. The quiet, stillness of the year is ending and we are heading into a stage of youthful exuberance and starting over. I love this new way of seeing the year and I hope you will like it too.

Blessing the Quarter Days

Quarter days are the mid-point Sabbats between the seasonal festivals in the Wheel of the Year. Quarter days also correspond to the spokes of the wheel that fall on the solstices and equinoxes which mark the progression of the sun throughout the year. In truth, quarter days are my favorite Sabbats to celebrate because they are very tied to a physical event: the longest/shortest days of the year and the days when night and day are close to equal in length. I love the symbolism of these events and I love celebrating them.

Winter Solstice
In December, my family and I had a wonderful Solstice celebration. Unfortunately, not only did we not get pictures, but I also didn't blog about here it! So better late than never, let me tell you about our Solstice observance.

This year we separated all of our Christmas decorations into two categories: decorations that celebrate characteristics of winter (the snow men, evergreen trees, reindeer, etc.) and those that celebrate the birth of Christ. None of the Christ decorations were put out before the Solstice in order to fully respect the history of Yule, as a once pagan then turned Christian holiday.

Our Solstice celebration consisted of turning of the lights in the house off at sun-down, lighting a fire in the fireplace and then lighting candles throughout the house. We gathered together in the living room, snuggled up and discussed what the Solstice meant. We talked about how in many places where it was winter, that people were cold and didn't have enough food. Many people throughout the world feeling sad and discouraged all year but it can be particularly difficult when its the coldest, darkest time of the year. We talked about how at Christmas time, many people think of others who have less than they do and want to help in whatever ways they can. We talked about charitable giving and how we participated in our community and in global aid.

After the lesson, we did a little ritual where we wrote on strips of paper our prayer for ourselves and for the world. My children's wishes were profound in their sensitivity and wisdom. For our family, they prayed for more sustainability in our living arrangements and more time together as a family outside being producers rather than consumers. For the world, they prayed that all the living things on earth would feel safe and have their needs met. We then put our prayers in the fire and asked that the light from the flame would carry our prayers to the places where they were needed.

After reflecting on our observance, I realized that the theme we had touched on was wishing and welcoming light into the world at the winter solstice.

Spring Equinox
When thinking about how to prepare for our upcoming equinox celebration, I thought back on our Solstice observance. If we were wising light to the world then, what would we be wishing into the world now at the start of Spring? The answer I came up with was beauty.

Our plan for the Equinox (this monday/tuesday) instead of burning our wishes in the fire, to plant our wishes into the ground. My son is very excited to sow wildflowers in our garden. At Bountiful Gardens, we found both a butterfly and a hummingbird mix. Since spring is a time of renewed beauty and life (and because life is beauitful), it just seems fitting to wish for an increase of beauty in the world around us. Not superficial or artifical, but that which is lasting and connects people together, that relieves suffering and invites simplicity.

Since a pattern has been established, I thought ahead of what we might wish to manifest at the coming quarter days later in the year. It naturally follows that the Summer Solstice would be a time to manifest abundance to the world (and the equitable distribution of that abundance!) and the Autumnal Equinox as a time to manifest preparedness to the world.

Summer Solstice
Likely our Summer Solstice observance this year will be to celebrate the abundance of our vegetable and flower garden. What we are sowing now at the spring equinox, we hope will yield something to celebrate then. We will then follow the pattern of the previous quarter days and wish blessings of abundance to not only our family but to all the families of the world and discuss how we can be involved in making that happen.

Autumnal Equinox
The autumn equinox is traditionally a time to begin to prepare for winter and for this reason, I would like to focus our equinox observance on the necessity and importance of being prepared and wishing that the collective wisdom of the world will shift to preparation and shift away from short-term self gratification, consumerism and greed that takes from the poor and the needy and is used instead to increase profits and luxury for the wealthy.

These are our plans for this year and I wonder what the next year will bring, and how these themes will develop. It is very nice to have plans ahead of time! So very often, I'm pulling things together at the last minute.

One Eternal Round

"In our worship there are two elements: 

one is the spiritual communion arising from our own meditation; 

the other, instruction from others . . . 

of the two, the more profitable . . . is the meditation. 

Meditation is one of the most secret, 

most sacred 

doors through which we pass into the presence of the Lord." 

~President David O McKay

Last Friday night, I sat in a darkened room, listening to "Holy Now" on repeat, and visualized a ball of light within myself. I watched and felt that light extend through my root chakra and into the earth, and through my crown chakra and into the sky. I drew in energy from my Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother, and extended out metaphysical arms of that energy and light to connect with other women, forming a circle of "holding hands" even though we were in 4 separate states. We then prayed for each other, sharing our words via skype (because we are so far apart). Then we sent our prayers and energies out into the world, to all nations, kindreds, tongues, and peoples, asking for blessings of peace and healing, and pledging to do our part to enact those things within our spheres of influence.
That prayer circle was intensely spiritual. And I never would have thought to participate in such a thing if I had not opened the door to integrate paganism and eastern spirituality with my faith practice.

~

When I was a teenager, we had an exchange student from central america come to stay with our family for three months. She was Catholic, and we took her to mass each week. I remember sitting in those services and thinking "this is really different from my church, but it's beautiful." I loved the beauty, I loved the ritual. I discussed it with my parents once, how I wished that we had more ritual in our church. They smiled and said that when I went through the temple I would get to participate in more ritual. So I looked forward to that day.
When that day came, they were right, some parts had ritual that I found exquisite and meaningful...but some parts really did not. I was more than a little disappointed. I still craved ritual as an enactment of meaningful spirituality.

~

When I was in college, as part of my research for my role in Macbeth, I learned about modern Wicca, and was fascinated. The intentionality, formality, and simplicity of their ritual style, calling upon elements and communing with nature, appealed to me.
A little over a year ago, I adopted a more intentional, more mindful, more open integrated mormon-pagan path. About six months ago, I joined a coven with three other women. These women are my sisters, my coven, my fellow "morgans" (mormon-pagans). I meet with my coven each week for a group chat on skype (we often talk more than once a week, but our scheduled chat is important and we all make efforts to make sure we are always there). We are all active, caring, involved mormons. We are all also finding things from outside the mainstream church very helpful to us in our spiritual journey.

~

Samhain (Oct 31-Nov 1) is the pagan new year, a time of endings and new beginnings (which is why they believed that the veil between life and death was thin, and thus spirits of the dead could walk among us). Last Samhain, in the spirit of new beginnings, I changed the "religion" entry on my facebook profile. Now it says

Universalist Mormon Pagan

Embracing truth wherever it is found. 

Seeking the wisdom of my Mother, Father, Savior, and Spirit. 

Observing seasons, esbats, and Sabbats. 

Rejoicing in the restored gospel. 

Keeping my temple recommend. 

Feeling fulfilled.

I made this change in solidarity with the others in my coven. I don't know whether anyone actually looks at what it says in a person's facebook profile, but there was something about the act of putting it out there into public space that felt good. As Jena explained,

When it comes down to it, Paganism has made me a better Mormon. Lighting a candle while I pray makes me feel more focused and keeps my mind from wandering so much. Adding ritual elements to my day-to-day makes me feel more connected with God. Is it "critical to my salvation"? No, but I don't think it hurts, and it makes my faith rituals feel more intentional. I miss that in mainstream Mormonism. I feel like we've had some of the beauty scrubbed out of our general practice. Incense and oil were burnt in the ancient temples of Israel to purify and sanctify the space and to lift prayers to Heaven...[but] we've become so much about practicality and uniformity in modern times. Things like beauty in architecture and adornment, scent, sound... we rarely use more of our physical senses than sight and hearing in our services and rituals, and I think that makes our correlated practices... sterile. Homogenized. Pasteurized. Devitalized. Boring. Uninspiring.

For me, bringing in these new elements has given my faith vitality again in a time when I desperately need it. It makes it easier for me to feel like I'm in touch with Divine power, like I can receive revelation and inspiration, be guided and protected. I feel a little bit more spiritually alive, and I crave that. I have always craved it.

"The spirit is a present-moment reality. Meditating, pondering, and contemplating are powerful spiritual disciplines. They take us to the present, where the spirit is experienced directly--to the only state in which we can commune with the Infinite."

This board is filled with things that I 
find magickal, or spiritually inspiring

from Mormon Mantras: A Journey of Spiritual Transformation by Philip McLemore (He also did a podcast which you can get here)

In the pagan worldview, everything is interconnected, and everything is blessed. In other words, we are all part of one eternal round, and everything is holy. I find that when I believe that I will find this holiness, this magick, then I do find it. When I believe in it, I am able to experience it.

Interconnectedness & Blessedness
Everything is Holy Now:
Elements, Celestial Bodies,
Wonders of the Natural World
Seasons, Cycles, & the Wheel of the Year

Perhaps it's because I'm aware of what is around me, and perhaps I actually attract it. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm taking my spirituality into my own hands, and the result is magickal ♥

Everything is Holy Now

I heard this song recently, and it has struck a resonating chord with me.



(and if you are the sort who doesn't want to watch a 5 minute video, in spite of the powerful message that I promise is in it, the lyrics are the italicized parts throughout this post.)

Of course I have always known that sacredness, and communion with the Divine can be found in nature; that was one of the things that drew me to paganism. Prophets throughout the ages have gone into the wilderness, upon the mountaintops, or into the forests to talk with God. Obviously assorted locations and objects have been deemed holy or sacred by various religions over the centuries too.

When I was a boy, each week

On Sunday, we would go to church
And pay attention to the priest
He would read the holy word
And consecrate the holy bread
And everyone would kneel and bow
Today the only difference is
Everything is holy now
Everything, everything
Everything is holy now

I asked my 11 year old son how much of the world he thought was holy. He thought about it for a few minutes, and said "well, there are a lot of shrines in Japan and stuff, so maybe 0.05%"
I told him about how trees are an ancient symbol of the Feminine Divine. He thought for another minute, and then said "so maybe 10-15%, because they have cut down a lot of trees, plus there are deserts and stuff."
I asked him if he thought God could be in the ocean. If he thought God could be in the mountains. If he thought God could be in the wind.
"Oooh," he said "holiness can be everywhere huh."

When I was in Sunday school
We would learn about the time
Moses split the sea in two
Jesus made the water wine
And I remember feeling sad
That miracles don’t happen still
But now I can’t keep track
‘Cause everything’s a miracle
Everything, Everything
Everything’s a miracle

Indeed, I believe so.

Wine from water is not so small
But an even better magic trick
Is that anything is here at all
So the challenging thing becomes
Not to look for miracles
But finding where there isn’t one

My son  has been studying biology this year in school. He loves to chatter on to me about mitosis and photosynthesis and the other things he is learning about. I have always found these things impressive, but when they are presented in a textbook they seem mundane...just another vocabulary word to learn for the test. But take a step back and think about what they really are. Indeed, they are miracles.

When holy water was rare at best
It barely wet my fingertips
But now I have to hold my breath
Like I’m swimming in a sea of it
It used to be a world half there
Heaven’s second rate hand-me-down
But I walk it with a reverent air
‘Cause everything is holy now
Everything, everything
Everything is holy now

It is not just that we can sense the holiness of Deity when we see that glorious sunset. The sunset itself can be holy. It is not just that we can feel a closeness to Deity when we sit in the forest, listening to the birds and streams and smelling the dirt and pine needles. The birds and water and dirt and pine needles themselves are holy. It is not just feeling a closeness to heaven when we look at a new baby, but the baby himself is holy. In fact it is not just nature and babies and "good people," but we are all holy. We all have a godseed in us, the potential to become like our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. For small times (or lifetimes) we may not live up to that potential, we may not let that holy spark shine, or we may not know how to let it shine (some of us may not even realize that it is there), but that does not change the fact that it is there.
The sunset is holy.
The sea is holy.
The trees are holy.
The animals are holy.
Our children are holy.
We are holy.

Everything is holy now

Read a questioning child’s face
And say it’s not a testament
That’d be very hard to say
See another new morning come
And say it’s not a sacrament
I tell you that it can’t be done

Obviously this is probably a bit of a paradigm shift for you, it was for me. But to perceive everything as inherently holy, everything as inherently a miracle, that adds a whole new richness to my life and to my spirituality. When holiness and sacredness were things that had to be found, or sought, they seemed "too special," like the china that my Mother in law keeps in the cupboard 363 days a year, and only gets out for Christmas and Easter. But when sacredness surrounds me every day, it does not cheapen the holy, rather it raises my everyday to a higher plane.

This morning, outside I stood
And saw a little red-winged bird
Shining like a burning bush
Singing like a scripture verse
It made me want to bow my head
I remember when church let out
How things have changed since then
Everything is holy now
It used to be a world half-there
Heaven’s second rate hand-me-down
But I walk it with a reverent air
‘Cause everything is holy now

Walking the Blended Path (no really, you can)

It's hard. At times it feels near impossible. The doubts, the questions, the loneliness... Come to think of it this sounds an awful lot like parenting outside the mainstream, or even in general. So shouldn't we be accustomed to this? Shouldn't this be an easy thing to slip into? Not quite. As Mormon women we are use to community within our faith. We are use to having like-minded people all around us, to having some place to turn (physically and otherwise), to having our beliefs and practices accepted and understood by the masses more or less and even spoken about on TV 4 days out of the year. But now? Now that we have added, shifted, become something else? Now what?

Photo credit.

I think the doubt is what plagues me the most. I look around me and I don't see very many people at all combining these beliefs and practices with their Mormondom. A handful, tops. And it worries me. "What if I'm all wrong? What if this is bad?" as if more people being involved would make it all the more legitimate. But it wouldn't, so why am I doing this to myself? Plain and simple- it's change. In change we grasp at anything to make it familiar. Community, as Mormons, would offer just that.

But this isn't a post about the need for community or a call to gather more fully together. Believe it or not this is a post about making it on one's own. Because at the end of the day who do we answer to but ourselves and God? We're the odd ducks, the "different", the "others". The key to walking the blended path is to embrace that. To own it. To love it. Not to say we shouldn't ever have community but just that we can't look to others to validate our ways.

But how can we manage this?

Dig deep. Get to know (and love) yourself. Enjoy your own company. Build confidence.

We are blessed in this day and age and from where we stand now, open to so much more, to have the tools necessary to do all of the above right within our reach. Meditate. Chant. Dance. Sing. Gaze into your own eyes infront of a mirror. All of these are simple rituals that could be made more elaborate if you wish or just treated as a 5 minute addition to your day but powerful rituals that bring you into yourself, that bring you home.

Something clicked in me a little bit ago that knocked me into self-acceptance. It has been a long time coming- lots of work to not working on it at all to even marinating in my own self-loathing for who I am. I fully admit I didn't come to this on my own. There are wonderful people in this world with a gift for helping you to reach down into your soul and pull yourself to your feet and one of those people is Francesca DeGrandis. I first heard about her when I saw her book Goddess Initiation at my local Waldon's bookstore. That was near 10 years ago (my goodness, I feel old!) and since then I have used the tools she had given me in both GI and Be A Goddess through many spiritual journeys. From being Wiccan to Dianic to a devout Mormon to a crisses of faith to where I stand now. I realized the other day why that is- because Francesca is all about the blended path. She doesn't say it outright, she doesn't offer a how-to on walking the blended path specifically, she merely challenges us and teaches us to be us. Live fully as who we are and that has stuck with me.

In her latest book Share My Insanity (which I highly recommend for anyone who is an "oddity") she opens with this:

"Just trust your own definition of innovative. Originality can be an inclusive—not exclusive—concept. For example, your uniqueness might express itself in the way you manage the family’s household budget, get the kids to school on time, and raise happy children. “Us plain folk” have plenty of our own special ways." 

(emphasis added by me)

My point is that though we have to learn to stand on our own this still does not happen in a vacuum. Open your eyes, ears, and heart to the experiences and advice of others. Take what you can use and leave the rest and make sure to be aware of what it is you can use, what does work for you. Trust yourself, your own understanding of things. Don't place that same trust in others because, in truth, they don't know what it is you need. But don't shun them, either. There is a balance that has to be struck but it's in that balance that the real magic happens- when the light goes on and we begin to grow into ourselves, fully.

All of this rambling to set out a personal "how-to" on walking the blended path. Or, more accurately, what I have found to work for me...

Know yourself.

Love yourself.

Respect yourself. 

Understand that you are alone yet joined by many in that. 

Be humble enough to learn from others.

Be confident enough to learn from yourself. 

Realize the paradoxes all around you and let them work with and within you. 

Embrace your "crazy".

These aren't my rules as much as they are things I remind myself of as often as possible. And it works wonders, if you can believe it.

Creating my sacred space

Originally I had been opposed to a prayer/meditation altar but over a few months, I realized I could really benefit from the centering that comes from having visual representations and elements to guide my thoughts. The items I have put on my altar give me a focus on the aspects that I feel are most important to me right now--what I'm working on, where I want to go, what I value.  I realized in my altar I wanted to have a visual image of the Goddess and God. I really love the concept of the triple goddess because as I ponder a divine woman, she's not just a mother, not just a grandmother, but she has a complete knowledge and understanding and encompasses all the aspects of womanhood. In my Mormon.org profile, I describe how I see the Goddess.

I wanted to find something to visually depicted that. I searched for images using the term "triple goddess" and the artwork pictured below is the first that showed up. I like it more than the other pieces of goddess art that I've seen because it shows the dimensions of womanhood so well. The intensity of maidenhood, the softness and passion of motherhood and the calm wisdom of the wise woman all show how women are capable of all of those things at the same time. The wise woman has been all of those things and does not cease to be what she once was and she matures and progresses through the stages of wisdom.

By Wolfnixie13

I then turned my eyes to the male deity. Since I love the idea of a complex ageless and at every age woman, I thought viewing the Lord God as the Triple God. The concept is not as common as that of the triple goddess though you can search and find some discussion of it. However, the concept does not seem as well developed in people's minds and it was virtually impossible to find a visual representation of God as a youth, father and wise man. You'd be really surprised to hear where I found it though: in the First Vision.

Available at Deseret Book

Its not perfect, but if you remember the Mormon doctrine that we can gain all knowledge and become gods ourselves, Joseph acts as the youth who has the capability, potential to (and maybe has already) attain godhood. Then, Christ is the appropriate age for father (and I believe he was a biological father in his mortal life, AND the Book of Mormon teaches us that we become the children of Christ at our baptism) so Christ can be perfectly viewed as a divine father. Then logically, God the Father is the wise man who has attained all knowledge and wisdom. So there you go, in the most familiar visual representation Mormons have of Elohim, I see the Triple God.

At first I had my eyes set on this representation of the Triple Goddess but I'm not at a point where I can spend that much on such a beautiful statue. Perhaps the time will come that I will replace both of frugal choices with the more expensive representations that I first considered. Besides, I'd love to find a bronze statue of the First Vision rather than marble or plaster.

I printed out both of pieces of artwork shown first and framed them. I placed them on a carved wood table that had belonged to my great grandmother. Above the table, I have a metal work tree that to me symbolizes the tree of life and the progression to Godhood, Heavenly Mother, my ancestors and family tree.

The Tree of Life above my prayer table

Between the framed art, I felt prompted to put a wedding photo of my husband and I. It reminds me of the good that can be found in the temple endowment--that women are promised to become queens, priestesses, and goddesses (I basically ignore the "to your husbands" part because I reject the notion that women need an intermediary to relate to their Mother and Father. I just cannot believe that principle comes from God). To me, our wedding photo reminds me of our ability to progress and possess all the knowledge, power and ability of our Father and Mother. That's my goal in this life: to maintain the focus of where I want to go. It is my hope and my faith that together my husband and I can attain those blessings.

Our sealing at the Salt Lake Temple

But that leads into what is basically a need of mine: to remember that I am out of balanced when I think too much of the afterlife and the future. I need to find ways to be present in the hear and now. That's where Buddhist mindfulness provides me important lessons. I've also found in paganism, the ability to connect with the earth and value my time on it. I have an advent wreath placed in front of my framed pictures. The advent wreath is bronze and shaped with Celtic knots which connects to my Irish and Scottish heritage. I also decided to put in the colored candles with associate with the pagan earth elements (earth, air, water, fire and in the center spirit). I also have candles that are associated with the chakras (click on learn about more chakras and a pop-up page will come up) because I find focusing on which part of my seems out of balance is really helping in finding that balance. I've been focusing in the abstract spiritual world for so long that I need some concrete aids to help ground me.

This advent wreath is available from Terra Sancta Guild

In learning about the elements and their associated colors, I learned something very interesting. The colors for each element are pretty stable and logical: blue for water, red for fire, green for earth, yellow for air, purple for spirit. However, I learned that depending on your geography, which direction you associate with a certain element will be different. Since I live in the Pacific Northwest, I associate water (the ocean) to the west of me, fire (the desert) to the south, earth (the mountains and expanse of thousands of miles of land) to the west, air (the cool, crisp air of Canada, snow and high altitudes) to the north.

Last thing on there is my aromatherapy diffuser. I turn that on with essential oils in it based on the needs at the time. Sometimes it for emotional stability, balance or comfort (lavender, rose or jasmine) but most often lately its been medicinal to help me get over the viruses and infections floating through the house. It would be more typical to use incense but I find I need the cooling water vapor to comfort me. I'm such a fiery personality that adding more fire is not a good idea and I'll be honest, I find incense smoke irritating to my lungs. The cool water vapor is so cleansing and healing, I much prefer it.

The table is really small so I kneel in front it using a small stool. Its actually a breastfeeding stool but I find its perfect to sit on. Its like using a yoga block to sit on one's feet and I find its the most comfortable position for me that I can sit in for long periods. Kneeling the Christian way just never worked for me without causing cramps and discomfort after a while which resulting in my prayers being cut off or less focused. Being able to relax into prayer and meditation goes a long way to having that time be sacred, meaningful and productive.

With the stool for kneeling

I love how well its come together. I love the layers of symbolism and how each thing reflects a love or need of mine. It helps me stay focused in the moment. Given the many years my life was engrossed by death, suffering and the hope for the afterlife (which is a terrible way to live when you are in your twenties!),  its a huge step for me to be so connected to the material world. The world is a beautiful place, symbols are powerful and I love feeling the freedom to implement symbols that are appropriate and meaningful to me.  I don't feel the need to sit in front of my meditation table everyday but its my calming place when I need it or feel like I could benefit from the full sensory experience.  It really helps me to focus. I end up  feeling more dedicated and connected to both my body, my life and to my parents in heaven. All at the same time, I know who I am, I know where I'm going and what I'm doing here.

The close-up 

Beltane/May Day

Beltane is traditionally celebrated on April 30 or May 1 (or most traditionally, overnight from April 30-May 1). Some of us may be familiar with pop culture representations of Beltane, which focus on the celebration of the union between the Great Mother and her young Horned God. Their coupling brings fresh new life on Earth. Some form of this Great Rite is enacted on this sabbat in nearly every modern pagan circle. The Great Rite symbolizes the sacred marriage, or sexual union, of the the Lord and Lady [you can read what I wrote about the Great Rite here at MotherWheel]. Often the rite is performed symbolically by a male and female who place a knife (a phallic symbol) into a chalice (a female or yonic symbol). In Old Europe, whole villages would celebrate May Day by slipping away into the woods for indiscriminate sexual encounters. [source]. But Beltane is about more than sex.

Background
Beltane is the last of the three spring fertility festivals, the others being Imbolc and Ostara. It traditionally marked the arrival of summer in ancient times. Beltane, and its counterpart Samhain, divide the year into its two primary seasons, winter (Dark Part) and summer (Light Part). As Samhain is about honoring Death, Beltane, its counter part, is about honoring Life. It is the time when the sun is fully released from his bondage of winter and able to rule over summer and life once again.
Beltane, like Samhain, is a time of "no time" when the veils between the two worlds are at their thinnest. No time is when the two worlds intermingle and unite and the magic abounds! It is the time when the Faeries return from their winter respite, carefree and full of faery mischief and faery delight...When the veils are so thin it is an extremely magical time, it is said that the Queen of the Faeries rides out on her white horse. Roving about on Beltane eve She will try to entice people away to the Faeryland.
Beltane translated means "fire of Bel" or "bright fire" - the "bale-fire". Bel is the known as the bright and shinning one, a Celtic Sun God. Beli is the father, protector, and the husband of the Mother Goddess.
Beltane is the time of the yearly battle between the Welsh God of death and the hero Gwythur for the hand of Creudylad [the beautiful maiden]. A myth of the battle of winter and summer for the magnificent blossoming earth.
The Bel fire is a sacred fire with healing and purifying powers. The fires further celebrate the return of life, fruitfulness to the earth and the burning away of winter. The ashes of the Beltane fires were smudged on faces and scattered in the fields.
Celebration includes frolicking throughout the countryside, maypole dancing, leaping over fires to ensure fertility, circling the fire three times (sun-wise) for good luck in the coming year, athletic tournaments feasting, music, drinking, children collecting the May: gathering flowers. children gathering flowers, hobby horses, May birching and folks go a maying". Flowers, flower wreaths and garlands are typical decorations for this holiday, as well as ribbons and streamers.
[source]


Symbols

• Sexual symbols, such as the maypole, or the dagger and chalice.
• The color green
• "Flowers are a crucial symbol of Beltane, they signal the victory of Summer over Winter and the blossoming of sensuality in all of nature and the bounty it will bring"[source].
• "Water is another important association of Beltane, water is refreshing and rejuvenating, it is also imperative to life. It is said that if you bathe in the dew gathered before dawn on Beltane morn, your beauty will flourish throughout the year. Those who are sprinkled with May dew are insured of health and happiness. There are other folk customs such as drinking from the well before sunrise on Beltane Morn to insure good health and fortune" [source].

a Green Man cake

Food

• Bannock, or oat scones (this isn't a traditional Beltane recipe, but it's one we like. Here is a more traditional recipe)
• Make a Green Man cake (a cake decorated to look like the Green Man)
• Serve punch or water with ice cubes that have flowers frozen into them
• Spring salad
• Sweet breads, usually with sweetmeat or spices in the center
• Colorful fruit
• Dairy foods
• Honey

Activities

leaping the bonfire (source link)

• Wear bright colors
• Wear flowers in your hair
• Have a bonfire! If you're daring, make it a low narrow one (or not!), and jump over it
• Raise a May Pole, and dance the ribbons around it (here are directions, you can use a branch or a tetherball or volleyball post for your pole)
  

  

  winding the ribbons around the may pole

• Gather flowers, and decorate the house with them
• Take flowers to your friends and neighbors
• Gather the first herbs of the season
• Go on a picnic
• Wash your face in the dew at sunrise on Mayday (or in the evening dew on Beltane evening)
• If it rains, go out and get your face and hair wet in it, feeling the blessing of the life-giving water
• Hold a mock battle between Winter and Summer (they did this in ancient Scandinavia)
• Make love with your spouse outdoors (in the woods, or in the privacy of your own backyard) (If you didn't follow the link before, check out my post about the Great Rite)
• Go on a walk in nature. 
• Look for fairies! 
• Read fairy stories
• Decorate your yard with ribbons, flowers and shiny things to attract fairies
• Build little fairy homes in your yard with rocks, leaves, sticks, ribbons, buttons, etc
• Say a blessing over your garden (the space or the new starts growing)
• Read in the scriptures about when God put plants on the Earth

It is the child's unrestrained expression of bliss and delight that is what Beltane is all about. It is the sheer joy of running through fields, picking flowers, rapturing in the sunlight, delighting in the fragrance of spring, dancing in the fresh dew covered grass. Our children guide us through the natural abandonment of our adult sensibilities and show us how to take grand pleasure, warmth and bliss from the gift of Beltane.
[source]

Resources

• http://www.earthwitchery.com/beltane.html
• Ayla's post here at MotherWheel about how her family celebrates Beltane
• http://www.circlesanctuary.org/pholidays/beltane.htm
• http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=usma&c=holidays&id=2765 
• http://www.earthwitchery.com/beltane.html

Hieros Gamos ~ The Great Rite

Ancient traditions taught the idea of the hieros gamos, the "great marriage" or sacred sexual union between the God and Goddess. Sometimes it was literally enacted between the high priest and priestess, or between a priestess and the king, or some other pairing of that sort. At other times it was (or is) done more symbolically, by placing a dagger into a chalice, or winding ribbons on a may pole. In all cases it was symbolic of the union of Deity.

Why was this union such a big deal? Because it made balance between the forces of the universe: male and female, material and spirit, light and dark, stillness and motion... It joined opposites into a whole that was greater than the parts, and found resolution in the dichotomies of existence.  It re-calibrated nature so to speak. This union and balance were represented with symbols as well as actions. One that might be familiar is this one from the Middle East (one that most of us now recognize as the "Star of David"). 

Another translation of hieros gamos is "temple marriage." That certainly caught my eye from an LDS perspective since we teach that a temple marriage (or temple sealing) is the only kind that will last past death and for all eternity. Indeed, this hieros gamos is supremely important and sacred.
Take that in conjunction with the belief that we all have the potential to become gods/goddesses (some say we have a "godseed" in us), then when we practice hieros gamos we are indeed participating in the joining of deities.

Here is where I integrate this old idea with my modern life:
try looking at sex as a sacred ritual (for those who are not married of course you'll have to stick with just thinking about it, but for those who are married, try to take this perspective to bed with you next time and see how it goes!)
As Scott Cunningham said in his book, ancient shamans found spirituality and power "...through ecstasy--alternate states of consciousness in which they communed with the forces of the universe."  From this perspective, sexual experiences, in particular intercourse and orgasm, can be deeply spiritual.

Here are a few practical ideas for integration:

• Think about things like what I mentioned above (both in and out of the bedroom): the unified whole being greater than the parts, the physical unification being a symbol for spiritual and other unity in your marriage, etc. Discuss these ideas with your spouse.
• Lighting candles. We have a few fancy ones, but mostly we have cheap tealights and they work just as well. The ambiance of candlelight is not only romantic, but many religious ceremonies utilize candles, and the light/fire of a candle has many spiritual connotations.
• Try a bath (you can add candles there too!) Ritual washings are part of many religious observances, so try washing each other before proceeding to other activities.
• Massage one another with oil (or lotion). Anointing with oils and formalized touching are found in many spiritual practices. Take the opportunity to use repetitive motions and physical touch to arouse and relax your spirits as well as your bodies.
• Choose 'ritual' words, whether terms of endearment or phrases of desire, a few well-chosen words repeated each time (or within one time!) can add to the experience.
• Anything which shuts out the world can be a way to tune into the spiritual. So, in intimate times, shut out the world, and tune into your own spirit, your spouse's spirit, and the Spirit that is over your marriage.
• If consummation is the 'magic moment' (after which you are 'married' and would have to seek a 'divorce' rather than an 'annulment'), then every time you re-consummate your marriage it could be considered a way of renewing your vows. Think about that!

Separating Easter from Ostara

(cross-posted from my blog)

Most kids I know think of Easter as a day of chocolate bunnies and boiled eggs. Many of them get dragged along to church, and a number of them even know the story of Jesus being resurrected. But when push comes to shove, I'm pretty sure that if you ask a kid about Easter, they're gonna go back to eggs and bunnies.

My parents wanted to separate Jesus from the candy, so on Easter Sunday we went to church, told the resurrection story, and had no candy whatsoever. The next day, we would hunt for eggs and baskets for our Family Night. I remember at one point when I was 10 or 11 I complained that all our friends got candy a whole day before we did. My mother calmly pointed out that if she waited and bought the candy on monday, it was all half price, and she would be able to get us twice as much. I was sold! I actually went on to tell friends about it for several years--how no, we hadn't gotten our baskets that morning before church, we would have to wait for Monday, but it was ok because we would get extra candy that way. Clearly I thought along the same lines as most other kids in terms of where my focus was.

So I was already accustomed to separating celebrations of the Resurrection from celebrations of springtime, but it still felt a little sloppy... By which I mean that doing it on two adjacent days still felt like it was all one holiday, whereas I wanted a more defined separation.
And then I learned about Ostara.
Most of the things we think of as Easter symbols (eggs, flowers, bunnies, chicks) are actually from Ostara (even the name was snagged from "Oestre" which was a germanic goddess of springtime). Ostara is a celebration of rebirth and new life, so it does fit in spendedly with the themes of Resurrection, but they are not the same thing. One celebrates seasons and cycles, the other celebrates Christ's sacrifice for the eternal salvation of humankind. I don't want to mix them up.

So we separate the two separately.

On Ostara, we celebrate springtime and new life. We dye eggs, make egg/bird/bunny shaped sugar cookies, do spring cleaning, and have a big dinner with spring greens, eggs, poultry, or lamb. We may also get some seasonal candies to share with the family, but we don't have baskets or sneaky bunnies or any of that.


Then, on Easter, we celebrate Christ and the resurrection. No eggs or bunnies. We make a dinner of fish and honey because that's what Christ ate with the apostles, We also make resurrection rolls which are a family favorite.

A note about Ostara and Easter.  Easter's date is actually based on Ostara, because Easter (which is dated off Passover), always falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon after Equinox. This year, the full moon fell one day before Equinox, so the two holidays ended up being a full month apart. Last year they were only a day apart.

Serpent Mythology

Today is St Patrick's Day.  The day we celebrate the miracle of St Patrick ridding Ireland of the snakes.  Growing up, I had always assumed that was a literal miracle.  Who wouldn't want to chase out creepy snakes, right?  I have since learned though that the snakes were symbolic of the native, goddess worshiping religion.  In my reading, I have been fascinated to learn of the prevalence of the serpent as a symbol of the Goddess, eternity and fertility.
Most Christians think immediately of the Creation Story when we think of serpents and serpent symbols.  Indeed, for much of modern, Western history, the serpent has been symbol of the devil, temptation, evil, and the Fall.  So, when we see pictures of snakes or hear of stories revering them, the conclusion is "devil worship".  But this is inaccurate.  Pre-Christianity, the serpent was a powerful, and nearly universal, symbol of deity, fertility and strength.  The serpent has been seen as both male, female and androgynous; as cosmic or earth-bound.
A cosmic serpent is the Ouroboros. It was a part of Greek and Egypt beliefs.  The Ourobouros was an eternal symbol.  With it's head biting the tail and encircling the earth, it had no ending or beginning and encompassed everything.  By consuming itself, the Ouroboros is a symbol similar to the Pheonix, creating life again from death.

Image credit

In Norse mythology, Jörmungandr is the serpent son of Loki, who grows so large he encompases the Earth.  He and Thor are enemies and part of the final battle will be Thor's face-off with the "World-Serpent".

In the Kundalini tradition, Sakti is the serpent representing feminine power.  Kundalini yoga is an ancient practice designed to waken the Sakti and allow her to unite with Siva at the crown chakra, representing pure consciousness.  Sakti is illustrated as a spiral or an elaborate knot.
And who could forget the Caduceus.  The North American symbol of medicine, doctors and hospitals?  The exact origins of this symbol are not exactly clear from my research.  It appears there are several stories related to the Cauceus, some positive, some negative.

St Brigid's Day was celebrated last month.  One of the symbols of Brigid (the bride) and of her followers, is the serpent.  In fact, this symbolism  is so strong that we still celebrate the end of her people every year in March.  But most people don't realize it.  I didn't until I studied more about serpent mythology.  The story goes that St Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland and that is why there are no snakes on the island today.  In reality, there probably weren't any snakes in Ireland when St. Patrick lived there either.  The snakes are a reference to the followers of the old religion.  St Patrick baptized most of the leaders and prominent citizenry to the Catholic church.  The followers of Brigid were either forced to hide their beliefs or leave.  Much of their practices were actually absorbed into the church.  Brigid was remade as a saint.  Her holiday was renamed Candlemas and her symbol of the 4 seasons/wheel of the year was called a cross and said to describe the Passions of Christ.  The symbol of the serpent was completely turned around and came to represent the devil and his temptations.

Jenni just reviewed the book, Dance of the Dissident Daughter.  She shared with me this quote:
To my surprise, I'd learned that in ancient times the snake was not maligned or sen as evil but rather symbolized female wisdom, power, and regeneration. It was associated with the ancient Goddess and was protrayed as her companion. The snake was perhaps the central symbol of sacred feminine energy.
...
That day as I gazed at the picture of Eve and the serpent, I remembered Goddess and her connection to the snake, and inside I heard a resounding click...Questions followed one another in rapid-fire succession: how had the snake, of all creatures--an animal no better or worse than other wild beings-come to embody the full projection of evil within the Jewish and Christian traditions? Why was the snake selected to represent Satan in the origin myth? Could it be that the patriarchal force chose the snake in hopes of diminishing women's connection to feminine wisdom, power, and regeneration? Was it a way of discrediting the Feminine Divine?
In the context of that time and history, the idea made gut-wrenching sense. In fact, later I would read many such theories by scholars, theologians, and historians. 
...
Holding the picture of Eve and the serpent that day, I realized how significant and sad it is that in the story Yahweh forever placed enmity between Eve and the snake. Taking symbolic history into account, we might say that Yahweh placed enmity between Eve and her deep Feminine Source, her wisdom and power. 
What did it mean spiritually and psychologically for a woman to be at odds with that source? Wasn't this another way of portraying women's severed connection with their feminine souls?


This aspect of the creation story has bothered me, well, forever.  But since I have learned more about the Goddess and the Divine Feminine, it bothers me more.  Stories are powerful and the creation story has had great influence in the world.  I hope to review the book, Eve and Choice made in Eden soon.  In it, Beverly Campbell postulates that this story has done great harm to women and our place in society.  By relating women to evil, much has been done to women in the name of purification.
So, in honor of the serpent and the Goddess, I'd like to start a discussion today.  What influence has the creation story had on your world-view?  Does the knowledge of the original symbolism of the serpent change your view of St Patrick's day?  What other thoughts does this bring to mind?  Do share!

Book Review: The Dance of the Dissident Daughter

(cross-posted on my blog)

There is a great review of this book at With Your Mutual Approbation, so I won't repeat what she said, (you should just go read that review too!) but I will add some thoughts of my own as well as a few quotes.

The book has four sections, chronicling Kidd's journey "from christian tradition to the sacred feminine." The sections are Awakening, Initiation, Grounding, and Empowerment. The book is a little like a diary, or a documentary of her personal journey of discovery. She has excerpts from her journal, she talks about art she created, dreams she had, rituals she did, and her conversations and research during the time (it covers several years). She draws from MANY sources, some of which clicked for me more than others. Art, history, theologians, psychology, mythology, and feminism combine in her own personal melting pot of putting in all the pieces and creating a new self and a new view of the world.

I think the greatest point of this book is that it approaches the idea of the Divine Feminine from a Christian perspective. In other words, it does not discount Christianity, it merely broadens the view.

I feel like I have been or am doing some similar things (pulling from many sources to make a new paradigm), however my own feelings and conclusions aren't all the same as hers. I think she makes some good points though. In the first half or so of "Awakening" I thought wow, this could be me writing this; but then in the later part of that section, plus most of "Initiation," I felt like I really didn't relate. In those parts she was pushing back against the repression she felt in the patriarchal society, particularly the patriarchal church. The LDS church is pretty patriarchal in practice, but it is NOT so much in doctrine (ie, we already have a belief in  Heavenly Mother), so I don't feel nearly so repressed or disenfranchised as Kidd did. As the book got into the "Grounding" part I started relating again though, and really liked many of her conclusions.

Kidd's experiences combined feminism with spirituality, and while there is a lot of room for overlap, I feel that there is also lots of room for separation. So I took the intellectual stimulation and lapped it up as food for thought...but without feeling any obligation to agree with any particular part. I was intrigued by her interpretations and insights in some areas, and more or less apathetic about others. In the long run though, I found it difficult to put the book down, and would heartily recommend it to anyone (especially any woman, but really any one) who is open to thinking about things from a broader perspective.


Here are a few quotes or ideas from the book that I particularly liked:

"I often went to Catholic mass or Eucharist at the Episcopal church, nourished by the symbol and power of this profound feeding ritual. It never occurred to me how odd it was that women, who have presided over the domain of food and feeding for thousands of years, were historically and routinely barred from presiding over it in a spiritual context. And when the priest held out the host and said, "This is my body, given for you," not once did I recognize that it is women in the act of breastfeeding who most truly embody those words and who are also the most excluded from ritually saying them" (15).

An LDS acquaintance recently made the point that women literally shed their blood for others in menstruation, the marriage bed, and childbirth. (Those, along with lactation and menopause, are the five pagan "women's blood mysteries" and are considered sacred, which I think is appropriate. How wonderful would it be to raise daughters to think of their bleeding as sacred rather than as a curse?!)
In a later part of the book, Kidd mentions that the phrase "El Shaddai" (used in the Old Testament as a name for God) has usually been translated as "the almighty," but in fact 'shad' is also a Hebrew word for breast, and the 'ai' ending is feminine. So another reasonable interpretation is "the breasted one," or nurturing mother. And how many times in scripture does God speak of gathering us "as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wing"? Indeed, I must agree with Ms Kidd that the Old Testament is actually FULL of positive female references.

"The question then occurred to me: Well, [if] the Divine is ultimately formless and genderless, what's the big deal? Why all this bother?
"The bother is because we have no other way of speaking about the Absolute. We need forms and images. Without them we have no way of relating to the Divine. Symbol and image create a universal spiritual language. It's the language the soul understands. 
"And yet--and here's the crux--the images that have pervaded our speech, thought, and feeling about the Divine have told us the Divine is exclusively male. They have told us there is only one form and that form is masculine. Indeed, the image, language, and metaphor of God as male has been used so exclusively, for so long, that most people seem to believe that God is male. 
"How many times had I heard someone say "God is not male, He is spirit"?" (137-140).

The author is writing from a mainstream Christian perspective, and of course LDS theology does not quite align with this--we believe that God the Father IS male--but we also believe in the existence of God's wife, a Mother and Goddess, His partner and equal. And so, while I would word the issue differently, I still have to ask--if this is a true thing, why won't we talk about it?

I particularly liked a part where the author wrote about Matroyshka dolls (russian nesting dolls). She had a dream where a wisewoman archetype (who appeared in a lot of her dreams) gave her a doll, and showed her essentially the wisewoman (goddess) within herself. Later she learned that 'matroyshka' means 'mother' and she was struck by the idea of a mother within a mother within a mother. I was thinking about that, and how a woman's eggs are inside her when she is born. In other words, when a woman is pregnant with a daughter, it is not only her daughter but also her granddaughters who are within her. Just like the mother doll. And if you go back through enough mothers, we come all the way to Eve, and to Heavenly Mother. She talked about sitting in the "Great Lap" of Heavenly Mother, just as a child would sit in the lap of an earthly mother or grandmother.

Kidd concludes with some thoughts about why we benefit from having female authority as well as male, and it is because the two sexes simply do things differently. Men are naturally inclined to create hierarchical pyramids, whereas women are more likely to create weblike networks. Men compete, women build teams. It is not that one way is superior or inferior, it is that they both have their place, and neither should be pushed out by the other. As women, living in a predominately male-organized culture, we benefit from finding or creating female authority patterns in our lives, because we understand and relate to them better. Just as I felt a greater understanding of the atonement when I thought of being a mother sending my son to die (rather than the oft-repeated "God sent his Son"), so too we can grow closer to God the Father (as well as God the Mother) by acknowledging the presence--and differences--of each.

"I think women understand that 

we create change 

as we live out the experiences of our souls 

in the common acts of life" 

(222).

Our Feast Table

I really like the idea of acknowledging the elements (especially when it's all FIVE elements: earth, air, water, fire, and Spirit aka Deity). I didn't feel comfortable with invoking guardians or anything like that though. In conversing with my husband however, we settled on an idea that we both really liked.

We have a wooden ring advent wreath in which we burn candles at Christmastime.

We decided to remove the trees (they come out easily) and put in candles in the colors to represent the elements, and then use that as our table centerpiece at our Sabbat feasts.
(White = air, blue = water, green = earth, red = fire, and purple = Spirit)

I also found some silver candles, so I will be using them for our Full Moon feasts (we missed the January full moon because the whole family was sick so we didn't do any feasting...but we're looking forward to it this month!)

You might have also noticed the table runners. I found the full moon fabric and was enchanted, so I went looking and found the aurora borealis fabric as well (which was perfect since we live in Alaska). So I bought them both and made a reversible table runner which will go on our table with the candles on Feast Days.

Vision Moon

I have decided to name each moon this year, according to my hopes and intentions for that lunation. Last month I began with my Purification Moon, and today is the new moon of what I am calling my Vision Moon.

I've been thinking about Imbolc and Candlemas, and something that keeps coming to me is that this is a day that falls within the darkness, and yet celebrates the light that we put out into the world. Candles are an obvious metaphor, and I am reminded of Matthew 5:
Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Candles and light are not just a metaphor for testimony, they are also a metaphor for vision I think. For our focus. The light of one candle in a darkened room will draw the attention of all who enter. We see the flame and cannot help but go toward it. Even an infant, who does not know what the candle is, will immediately focus that direction.

The light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

John 1:5

Even if the darkness does not comprehend the light, the light still comes, and cannot be ignored. In this month where the darkness still has hold over our earth, the little lights of our candles are standing up and being seen, and cannot be quenched.

This lunation, I will ponder and meditate on Vision: what I am focusing on, where I am going, and also what kind of light I am putting out to the world.
During this new moon, my fast (I'm planning three days) will be from the internet...so I'll see ya later. ☺

As a closing, I wanted to share this song:

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;

Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;

Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:

Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,

May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

If you are unfamiliar with this psalm, and want to hear it--words and music--try this link. If you just want to hear the melody, or want something to sing along with (especially if you've adapted the words for your own purposes), here is a lovely, simple, instrumental version of it from youtube