In case you were wondering....

The correct way to pronounce Samhain is "shavnah".  If you're female, it's supposed to be "havnah", though these days most Gaelic-speaking people just use "shavnah".

Thanks to the post on this link for the information: http://www.paganspace.net/forum/topics/1342861:Topic:2464593

New Moon Fast

Like Jenni, I haven't fasted in quite some time.  It stopped being necessary to skip it a long time ago, but I got lazy.  The truth is, I hate fasting.  I hate thinking about food all day and wishing I could drink water so bad that I can't focus on anything else.   I never got any spiritual nourishment out of it.  I did it out of sense of obligation and guilt, and tried to pray extra hard for something while I was starving.
This time is a little different.  I couldn't really decide on something to focus on--though spiritual clarity is something I really need right now, and my husband could really use a decent job--so it's more of a "can I do this?" experiment.

Adding the lunar phase into the equation gave it more ritual for me, and made it more... doable?  I do better with things when there's structure and beauty added, even if neither is necessary for an action to have results.  Prayer doesn't need to be formal, but I can focus better if I'm lighting a candle and consciously thinking of the Deity I pray to after ritually purifying the area with salt or water or anything, really.  It doesn't make a difference in what God/dess hears, but I am focused and intent.  I am praying with purer intent than if I just get to my knees at the side of the bed and ask for stuff while hoping I don't fall asleep.  Or even falling to my knees and weeping because something is horribly wrong.  That is not praying with intent, it's crying out with barely any faith that I'm even being heard.  (at least for me--please don't take this as judgement on the way ANYONE else prays because I know it's different for everyone)

I have found that the ritual found in pagan traditions helps me to focus and ground myself before worshiping and praying and just living my life as a 'good Mormon'.  Some people may be uncomfortable with me calling a circle or purifying my house ritually with salt or seawater because it's not a necessary thing.  But it's necessary for me in order to calm my mind and spirit to the point where I can be receptive to inspiration and guidance from above.  I am still figuring out how to go about it, and how far to go with certain things, but I am feeling definitely guided to this path.  I feel joy in my heart when I contemplate adding ritual to my life, and I feel a deeper peace when reading on how to find what I truly believe in my heart.  I've spent so many years on borrowed light, that even some time in the darkness is a good thing because I will be able to light my own path soon.

So I've made it 22 hours with no food so far, though water was compromised on because I'm pretty sure I actually can't function without it.  At least not mentally, which is sorta necessary when I'm supposed to be focusing on something.  My focus has been on my behavior and mental and spiritual awareness as I do this.  This morning I could have been much more impatient with Sprout, but even though I was tired and hungry I was able to treat him with more respect and gentleness.  I was expecting more of an internal fight because I usually swing toward the hypoglycemic side of things, but it took very little effort.  And that made this whole thing worth it, no matter what else I may get out of it.

Clarity Moon

I have not written at the new moon for several lunations now. This is more or less because I have not been doing anything to mark them. Life has gotten busy as we prepare to move for a new job. This month, however, Dryad and I are observing this time together. She may share her thoughts separately, but here are mine...

The first Sunday of the month is "Fast Sunday" for LDS members. We traditionally abstain wholly from two meals. There are multiple purposes for this--first, the money saved can be donated to the needy; second, denying oneself in this manner is an exercise in self-control, of spirit over body. This spiritual 'tuning-in' can help us focus our prayers for greater efficacy as well.

During pregnancy and breastfeeding, my body needs the nutrition of not skipping meals. So I have not fasted regularly in years. Although it has been months since my baby started eating enough solid food that I could skip a meal or two, I am simply out of the habit, and usually forget about fasting.

This month, the new moon was on Friday, and I began my fast on Saturday night. For 24 hours I am not eating (I am drinking water for the sake of avoiding dehydration, but only water). In January (right after winter solstice), during my Purification Moon, I cleansed my body by abstaining from sugar for several days. Now, six months later (right after summer solstice) seems a good time to cleanse my spirit. So as I fast, I am praying for spiritual clarity. As we all do from time to time, I have been struggling with some matters of faith in the last few months. So today I put my body under subjection to my spirit, and ask the Divine to help me see things more clearly.

Book Review: Paganism

        Paganism    

                                    An Introduction to Earth-Centered Religions

                                    By Joyce and River Higginbotham

I went to the library a few days ago, armed with a list of books I wanted to read about women and pagan religions and goddesses.  I couldn’t find any books on my list, but I did a search for paganism, and this one popped up.  So I took it out and started reading it.  In between nursing Sprout, cooking dinner, hanging laundry to dry, and occasionally sleeping, I finished it in two days.  I couldn’t put it down.

The book is divided into seven chapters: What is Paganism?, You Are What You Believe, A Pagan View of Deity, What About Satan?, The Living Universe, Magick, and Ethics and Personal Responsibility. 

The first chapter dispels myths about witches and paganism and the people who practice any of the myriad of religions that fall under the umbrella of paganism.  The book is generalized toward the type of people who consider themselves pagans without focusing on one particular religion.  Some of the religions mentioned that fall under said umbrella are Celtic paganism, Druidism, Ceremonial Magick, Santeria, Voudon, Asatru, Shamanism, Eclectic paganism, Solitary paganism, Blended paganism, Wicca, and Family Traditions.  There is a brief description of each and its roots.

The rest of the book mainly focuses on finding what you believe.  It has exercises in each chapter—journal writings, meditations, group discussion questions, etc.—designed to help the reader find her way to whatever practice and/or religion fits what she believes.  There is a strong emphasis on personal responsibility, accountability, the sacredness and interconnectedness of Earth and all her living creatures, and ethics.  While different religions come to light in different sections, it gives a very interesting objective view of them and mainstream religions. 

My favorite part of this book is the emphasis on personal worship.  The meditations and exercises are designed not to ‘convert’ one to paganism, but to unlock what you truly believe in your heart and to remove limitations that keep you from practicing those beliefs.  The chapter on Magick compares spells and rituals to what other religions call prayer and divine inspiration—after reading the chapter, I agree!  Sending a thought or intent or ‘spell’ out to the ‘universe’ and expecting things to happen while going about doing everything you can to help it along is just about exactly the same as sending your prayer to Heavenly Parents and having faith in your righteous desires.  The authors even specify that if the inspiration you receive during meditation (or prayer, or whatever you want to call it) involves hurting someone else, or breaking the law, or hurting yourself, it’s not true inspiration and you should ignore it.

I highly recommend the book to anyone who wants to know more about paganism in general, or is seeking to bring more pagan ritual into her life but is concerned about the implications for church activity, or even anyone who is lost and looking for any religious or spiritual path.

http://www.amazon.com/Paganism-Introduction-Earth-Centered-Religions/dp/0738702226 (please go through The Amethyst Network if you want to buy this book, as they get a percentage of each sale: http://theamethystnetwork.org/  just use the amazon link on the right of the page)

Dryad

I was born into a conservative LDS family with convert parents.  I remained conservative for quite some time after I left the nest, and went through what I thought was a crisis of faith.  Really, it was just me not wanting to follow the rules and realizing that it made me miserable.  I went back to being conservative.  In the meantime, I got married to a brand-new convert who only stayed active for about a year.  My dear husband walking away from my precious religion was at first traumatic, but then it gave me permission to ask questions.  It also gave me permission to really dive into the strong connection I’ve always had with nature—water and trees, in particular.  I always had a strong desire to learn about paganism, but my conservative upbringing always stopped me.  I was terrified that I’d stray from the straight and narrow, join in pagan sex orgies, and completely lose my testimony and my soul.
Having a husband who doesn’t care about religion allowed me to search for myself for answers.  I recently became much more of a feminist than I ever thought possible, and I have been searching diligently for a Heavenly Mother that I never thought I had to know.  Thanks in large part to Jenni (my new permission-giver ;) ), I am finally embracing who I am, and I look forward to raising my toddler son with knowledge of the traditions and rituals that I am learning to enjoy. 
I am still an active member of the church, but my methods of worship are evolving so that I can comfortably walk the middle ground.  I’m excited to be here!

I blog at http://spiralgrove.blogspot.com/

Summer Solstice and the Celebration That Wasn't

x-posted on family blog.

This Solstice was spent the same way Beltane was- sick in bed. This is becoming a trend with me this year, coming down with something the day before the festivities are to take place.

But no matter. The cycle continues whether or not I speak the words or party with my kids. It still sucks, though, because Beltane and Summer Solstice are my two favorites...

I love sunflowers. My husband calls me his sunflower

because I love the sun as much as they do.

The Summer Solstice takes place on the longest day of the year, the zenith of the sun. It's at this time when the imagery of the light of God the Father is the most powerful as it is the most obvious to us. This day we set aside as a family to bask not only in the sun's light but in the Light of God the Father. 

We pray:

"Father, as the wheel turns year by year we are continually renewed by Your eternal vigor and passion. We honor Your wisdom and are blessed in Your teachings; through which we come to understand the cycle of Life and our part in it.” 

(adapted from Fiona Horne's Witch: A Magical Journey)

And we bask in the sun's warming rays.

<insert pictures of my children playing in the water under the sun here>

We eat the yummy fruits and veggies the sun helps provide for us.

my super awesome idea of yumminess that
will have to wait until next year, now...

We light colorful candles of yellow and blue and pink and green and we read the poetry of Valerie Worth:

King of seasons, tower of light, 

Tree of fire, crest of flight,

Eternal flower, crown of flame, 

Golden apex, summer's name,

Sun our ruler, sun our lover, 

Son our father, sun or brother

...

Lo, on the flames of spring have we aspired toward thee,

And on the wings of summer now we rise, 

On thy wings who are the father of all wings:

Thy winged sphere our kingdom,

Wither we ascend,

Where we shall find our immortality 

Beyond time and space:

The fires of they face and the fires of thy name

Shall be our own transfiguration and redemption. 

(snippets from page 134 and 135 of the book linked above)

We thank the sun and we thank the Father for the sun and the Son and for His wisdom and guidance.

And we prepare for the sun to begin his retreat and the dark to grow in it's strength...

Maggie's Intro

There are few things as awkward as the introduction post and I am in the royal court of awkward. Fair warning...

Hiya! I'm Maggie mother to 5 little girls (yes, all girls)- Lilith Luthien (7), Mable Mirkwood (5), Olive Onodrim (4), and twins Birdie Bree & Poppy Peregrin (nearing 2). If those names don't show our Earth loving crunchy ways I don't know what will. I married at 18 to my wonderful husband in 2003 and before the age of 24 we were blessed with our 5 little ladies. Life is good!

We are striving to live a whole and simple life here in the Southern California desert. Part of this is a deep reverence not only for the gospel but for our Mama Earth. We follow the seasons and find that the symbolism found in the cycles of the Earth and in life are matched with the symbolism within the gospel. We learn through such symbols and find wisdom through their repetition so this has become an important family practice for us.

I was raised LDS though fairly inactive. In my teens I became a very faithful member but that was short-lived as I found the inequality between men and women to be inexcusable. At the same time I left my mother to live with my aunt in Washington I discovered Goddess spirituality with my older cousin and became Wiccan. For the next 5 or 6 years this was my path. Towards the end of those years I dived into the Dianic tradition and really began to explore womanhood. I truly believe that this opened me up to accepting the gospel again through revering womanhood, motherhood and, of course, Heavenly Mother. It was at this time that my husband (a Pagan more than a Wiccan) decided to convert to Mormonism. I felt moved by the Spirit that night along with him and made the decision to come back to the church and the gospel. With this we packed up our altars and put away our herbs, candles, cauldrons, statues... All of it. It was very emotional especially when I threw out my Tarot cards. I kept my favorite card from each- the Lovers. I still have them tucked away.

We played the good Latter-Day Saints for a few years. Were sealed a couple of years after his baptism and welcomed 3 more little ones. But we felt that something was lacking. We knew what it was but we felt "wrong" for it. And then we had a shift in belief... Long story short we have abandoned religious literalism and have become unorthodox Mormons with a fierce independent streak. The cores of this is that we were finally able to separate the church from the gospel. They aren't one and the same. We haven't felt as devoted to the faith as we do now, funny enough.

My husband does not identify as a Pagan though he still feels very much connected to that Pagan/Earth loving spirit. We do observe the seasons as a family which he is fully committed to. I believe that neo-Paganism/the Craft is my practice where Mormonism is my belief. My husband feels Buddhism is his practice. It all fits together nicely for us as individuals and as a couple.

I have returned to the Tarot. As I said above I have a deep love for symbolism and the Tarot is no different. I use them for deep inflection. They are a big part of my spiritual practice as much as meditation, prayers and mantras.

I have discovered the beauty of liturgy and poetry as prayer. This has really opened me up on a spiritual level. I include both in my everyday practice as well as in special ritual. Again with the symbolism!

That about sums me up. I have taken the liberty of re-posting two blog posts from our family blog here on the same date they were posted on my blog to maintain the year's flow of this blog. One is on Christmas/Winter Solstice and the other on the Spring Equinox.

So excited to be here again!