Mother Wheel Bloggers at Daughters of Mormonism

A few months ago, three of our Mother Wheel bloggers participated in an episode on Daughters of Mormonism discussing the symbols of the LDS temple garments. Through our journeys on the Mormon Pagan path (or Morgan if you will), we have felt led to finding meaning in places where we did not think to find it. It started with trying to find Mother in Heaven in the temple. We actually first found her in the garment, which them prompted the episode as we further expound on what other meaning can be found there and how Morgan thought can come alive there.

Jenni, Descent and Dryad are joined by sister Morgan blogger Like Unto Eve. They describe a ritual that helps wearers of the garment connect to its symbols and meaning outside the temple as well as an alternative interpretation to the meanings of the symbols. The quarternity is described and then speculation abounds.

It was actually from this episode that Mormon Moon Circle was conceived. The facebook group Wildly Speculative Feminist Mormon Theology was also conceived at that time. In addition to the garment ritual designed by Mother Wheel bloggers that is shared in the episode, Jenni shares a menstruation ritual in the comments.

You can also find Descent's and Jenni's panelist interviews along with descriptions of their Morgan Pagan paths in their episodes:

Jenni's episode: "Not in Conflict"

Descent's episode: Connected to this Life Part 1 and Part 2

Jenni was also featured as a panelist on the following episodes:
Finding Her Everywhere: Symbols of the Divine Feminine
Good Girl Syndrome Part 1 and Part 2
Garments- To Cover Our Nakedness

Descent was also featured in the following episodes:
 "Be Yourself (within certain parameters)" — Depression & Mormon Women Part I
"Walking the Labyrinth" — Depression & Mormon Women Part II
"Elementally You" — Depression & Mormon Women Part III

For another DoM episode with a decidedly Mormon Pagan bent, listen to:
Eve as a Balance of Christ

Daughters of Mormonism has stopped recording new episodes but the world of Mormon women's podcasts is just beginning and Mother Wheel will have more information to share as new podcasts are developed.

Reclaiming Yule

I am in Northern California, soaking up the tree magic as fast as I possibly can.  I'm lounging at Milk and Honey, contemplating spending too much money on fairy dust or books or jewelry.  I'm shopping at stores that sell rotisserie chicken that was pastured and happy.  I get to spend time IN REAL LIFE with a dear coven member.  And I got to go to a reclaiming ritual for Yule.  (All of which I am doing barefoot, btw.)

Let me start by saying that I feel sorry for celebrities.  The ones that sit patiently while their fans swarm around them, fawning over them, trying to convey a life story in a few words before the next eager follower pushes into their personal bubble.  I met Starhawk, and she looked so exhausted.  I wanted to share my feelings as well, but I settled for a quick thank-you and a book signing.  I hope she got to go home after that and get some deep sleep.  She has done so much for the Pagans of the world, and her eco-feminism is a model of the activism in which I hope to become more involved.

The evening began with dancing and mingling.  When we walked up to the giant hall, the sounds of drumming and laughing spilled out from the door, and a cloud of warmth and happy magic embraced us as we walked in.  Sprout immediately started dancing, stomping his feet with the drumming and shrieking in delight.  He was one of only two toddlers that I could see in the room, the other being a small girl who was also delighted with everything but who fit much more nicely and quietly in a baby carrier.  There was a table as we walked in with books and cds written by Starhawk for sale.  Some of the proceeds for the sales went to programs and classes that Starhawk started up.  The ceiling was criss-crossed with strings of lights, and there was a mirror ball that got turned on during the spiral dance (cue Sprout shrieking about bubbles and trying to chase bits of light).  The altar (at one end of the hall) was a bunch of long tables put together, with a huge jumble of eclectic decorations to represent Air, Fire, Earth, Water, and Center.  There were colors and lights and evergreen everywhere.  
The lights were dimmed, and a woman began to tell the story of Yule to two fairies who were skipping around (Sprout was totally enthralled and talking and pointing).  We were taught a couple songs and then the ritual started.  There was grounding and meditation that I mostly missed because I was trying to keep Sprout quiet, but it involved the tree visualization.  Then everyone walked in a large circle, slowly, while chanting.  More songs and stories were told, and the four elements invoked by people specially dressed as the elements--red for fire, white with feathers for air, earth colors for earth, and blues for water.  Then the man we call Pan jumped in to invoke the center of all things.  He was playful and dancing and running about through most of the ritual, and paid special attention to Nikolai whenever he could.  Towards the end of the ritual, the drumming was started up again and we did a spiral dance, long lines of people circling each other and spinning into the middle of the great spiral and then back out again to face those coming the opposite direction.  We sang this song:

We are the rising sun
We are the change
We are the ones we are waiting for
and we are, dawning...
We are the rising sun..

It was beautiful, and inspirational.  I attended a large coven gathering for a sabbat once before, where the theme seemed to be Pagan Pride FOREVER, but this reclaiming was about loving the earth, welcoming back the sun, honoring the spirits of nature and learning to live with them in harmony.  It was about being a force for change, and love.  I actually felt the power and energy raised by the circle of smiling people.  
The circle was opened with a sweet farewell to the elements, and then more drumming! Sprout loved it, and danced until he was quite exhausted.  Pan danced with him, and then we all had a merry chase trying to keep him off the stage that was behind the altar.  And then we had to keep him from tearing the altar apart to play with it.
I stood in line after buying a couple books, including the beautiful The Last Wild Witch, and Starhawk exhaustedly signed my books for me.  I am eager to look up the reclaiming chapter in Phoenix and try to find that same spirit.  It is still my intention to find a deeper spiritual connection with the desert, and accept all of my mother Earth, whatever climate she hosts.

Blessed Yule

As we near Yule, and the turning of the season from old to new, dark to light, and cycle into a new year full of possibility and opportunity, I want to reflect on this past year.  It has been full of so much heartache and fear, worry and guilt, and stress that never seems to go away.  But it has also been full of magic.  I have searched for and  am starting to find my Mother, my Goddess, the other half of my Creator.  I have formed new friendships and forged strong bonds with those who  think and feel so much like I do.  I've made local connections with wonderful people in this desert land that I never thought I could love.  I have embraced my own power, and I have largely cast off the fear of my blended path.  I am making it work, and I am feeling guidance in unexpected places that lead me nearer to Christ.  An empty spot in me has started to fill with warm and wonderful things.

My new perspectives on the gospel have led me through some doubt-ridden and twisty paths, but I am finally starting to heal my testimony, to grow a fantastic new one that has room for all the joy and none of the guilt.  I am eager to serve my brothers and sisters, and I am finding the patience to deal with flaws I find in the structure of the church.  My perspective on repentance has changed from one of fear of disappointing my Parents to one of pragmatic progression.  I know my Parents love me and accept me the way I am, and they already know my every weakness.  If I walk too close to the edge and fall, They will catch me and guide me to a better way as They look on in love and encouragement.  My search for passion and authenticity is no longer a forbidden road that causes anxiety.

I am using my magic without shame, and finding scientific explanations and wild speculation in the realm of quantum physics to see the magic and possibility in everything.  There is so much for which we can hope and dream. The beautiful women in my area that I have started to consider family have held my hands as I have ventured from my safe and warm cocoon of checklists and fear-inspired close-mindedness.  I have moved from a place where I cried in desperation to feel any kind of real spiritual connection, to a place where I have found that connection in fire and water and wind, in the voices of the trees around me, in the touch of the gentle hands of an energy worker who has nothing but love in her heart. 

The Sunday school lesson on the pure love of Christ sinks into my newly opened and joyful heart, and I run to share it with my dear friends who were not there to hear the wonderful news of an empathetic and loving Savior who wants to carry us and heal us so we in turn can heal those around us as we become sources of His light in this world.    

Many of the hardships of this year will not be going away any time soon, and there are more to come.  As the moon wanes into the end of the year, I will be purifying my heart, and inviting Christ to reside there more permanently as I symbolically cleanse the anger and resentment from the past year from my soul.  The new moon on Christmas Eve will be a time of new beginning, of self-love, of power, and courage.

Blessed be, and Happy Yule!    

The Magic of Faith

Two nights ago I lit ritual candles and drank milk out of a special cup.  I meditated on angels and

stars.  I spent hours talking to friends close enough to me to be called a coven, as we designed rituals to bond us and use our energy for mutual benefit.

Two nights ago, I got on my knees and prayed for each of my coven sisters by name for help in supporting them in specific trials they are facing.  It wasn’t a whiny prayer or a begging prayer, but a solid prayer of faith and expectation of help.  I prayed in the name of Christ, and imagined my Brother kneeling next to me with His arm around my shoulders, approving my words and desires.

Two nights ago, I acted as a Pagan Christian.                       

Many Christians cannot reconcile the two paths I tread.  They don’t see how I need the extra ritual and mysticism to bring my mind and spirit to holy places.

Many Pagans shun Christianity because of the guilt-saturated traditions and the strict moral codes that they feel are harmful.

Here’s one way I make this work: prayer.  There are piles and piles of articles and books on the law of attraction—how to make it work and make all your dreams come true.  And there are piles and piles of spells and rituals that involve sending your will into the universe.   I certainly believe in that, and I believe that anyone can get anything they desire on this earth.  But that’s only half the story.

There are scriptures that explain you only need ask for something and believe that you’ll receive it, in the name of Christ, and it shall be given you.  How many Christians can actually pray with that kind of faith?  Too many of us shoulder unnecessary guilt or over-indulge in appropriate guilt.  We feel unworthy, blemished, imperfect, unlovable.  Our prayers are begging and pleading for things while deep down we don’t truly believe we’ll ever get what we ask for.  I've been that way, myself.  I don’t want to be that person anymore, and Pagan rituals are strengthening my Christian faith.

My prayers are mostly short: I ask for guidance in my path, I express my deep gratitude for the blessings that never cease, and then I’m done.  Throughout my day, I expect that guidance because I know my Heavenly Parents love me and want me to be happy.  You could say I have a prayer always in my heart.  Then I’ll do rituals that involve lighting candles and feeling the strength of my power and will to create something or heal someone.  I hug trees and find stillness in nature to quiet my mind so that it’s open to divine influence.  Then I go and do the work I feel pulled to do—whether it’s schoolwork, playing with Sprout, making feminist comments at church, writing she scriptures, or talking for ridiculous amounts of time to a coven member when she is in crisis.

So here is my testimony: Jesus is my Savior and Redeemer.  God and Goddess are my Parents, and they bothwant to hear from me.  The earth has a spirit, as does everything upon it.  There is a life force and energy that we have the power to manipulate, and the responsibility to manipulate with caution, generosity, Divine guidance, and courage.  We are all connected, and loving the weirdos and freaks; the gays and homophobes; the socially inept and the smooth politician; and your family, warts and all, is the only way to find the path to true happiness, whatever your religion.

These are the things I believe, and strive to live in accordance with.

Blessed be.

Lammas 2011

I also had a celebration with just family and friends.  From http://twopagans.com again:

Tools, Symbols & Decorations

The sun, oak, birch & fir branches, sun flowers, lilies, red/maize/yellow or gold flower, love amulets, seashells, summer fruits & flowers, feather/flower door wreath, sun wheel, fire, circles of stone, sun dials and swords/blades, bird feathers, Witches' ladder.

Gods & Goddesses

Lugh
(Celtic, one of the Tuatha De Danaan)
The Mother, Dana
(Lugh’s wife & queen)
Demeter/Ceres
(Roman grain goddess..honored at Ceresalia)
Johnny Barleycorn
Arianrhod’s golden haired son Lleu
(Welsh God of the Sun & Corn where corn includes all grains, not just maize)
Other agricultural Goddesses
The Waxing Goddess
The Waning God

Colors

Red, Orange, Golden Yellow, Green, Light Brown, Gold, Bronze, Gray

Customs

Bonfires, processions, all night vigil, singing, feasting, celebrating with others, cutting divining rods, dowsing rods & wands, herb gathering, handfastings, weddings, Druidic gathering of mistletoe in oak groves, needfires, leaping between two fires, mistletoe(without berries, use as a protection amulet), women walking naked through gardens to ensure continued fertility, enjoying the seasonal fruits & vegetables, honor the Mother's fullness, richness and abundance, put garlands of St. John’s Wort placed over doors/ windows & a sprig in the car for protection.

Animals/Mythical Beings

Griffins, basilisks, roosters, calves, centaurs, phoenix

Gemstones

Aventurine, citrine, peridot, sardonyx, yellow diamondsand citrine

Herbs

Grain, acacia, heather, ginseng, sloe, cornstalks, cyclamen, fenugreek, aloes, frankincense, sunflower, hollyhock, oak leaf, wheat,myrtle

Incense/Oil

Wood aloes, rose, rose hips, rosemary, chamomile, eucalyptus, safflower, corn, passionflower, frankincense, sandalwood

Rituals/Magicks

Astrology, prosperity, generosity, continued success, good fortune, abundance, magickal picnic, meditate & visualize yourself completing a project you’ve started.

Foods

Loaves of homemade wheat, oat, & corn bread, barley cakes, corn, potatoes, summer squash, nuts, acorns, wild berries (any type), apples, rice, pears, berry pies, elderberry wine, crab apples, mead, crab, blackberries, meadowsweet tea, grapes, cider, beer

Pictures from our celebration:

My friend's two daughters really enjoyed making the corn husk dolls after they husked their own corn cobs for the feast.  They were also ecstatic to make their own shaped little bread rolls--made from freshly ground (and soaked!) wheat.  The girls also performed ribbon dances at various times throughout the two days that we celebrated, and helped with setting up and cleaning.  I explained the reason behind the festival--to be thankful for the harvest, and to be thankful for the bounty of food available to us.

On a side note, I am considering skipping Thanksgiving in exchange for observing the three harvest festivals because it has become such a holiday of gluttony.  Also, how many families share their feast with the poor, or a minority family that they wouldn't normally socialize with?  Where are the Native Americans?  Are we still thanking them for helping us to survive so we could take all their land and ignore them?  Ok, getting off my soapbox now.  I just believe that three harvest festivals with feasts attached to each should be quite enough.  Thanksgiving should be dedicated to helping the poor, and feeding the needy.

Lughnasadh 2011

I don't have anything to add to the fabulous post that preceded mine, so I'm going to focus mainly on the pagan celebration side of things.


From www.twopagans.com :

Lughnasadh, also called Lammas, is the Celebration of Harvest and begins what is called "the chase of Lugh". Lugh is the Celtic Sun God and He rains down upon the crops, living within the golden fields. This is the time of the first harvests. At this celebration we give thanks to the Earth for its bounty and beauty. It is from these harvests that we eat through the upcoming winter. Honoring the God Lugh, games and sports are played to celebrate strength and good health. The grain Goddesses Demeter and Ceres are also honored. This is a time to harvest the dreams planted earlier in the year.

In Ireland in 1169, under the jurisdiction of the last High King, Ruraidh O'Conchobhar, the last Lughnasadh games, feast and fair were held. Lughnasadh or 'Festival of Lugh' was a time of thanksgiving and reverence to the Land for it's sacrifices to us. This was a time to test and give thanks for the skills and talents that we had been given and had achieved.

It is said that Lugh (Llew, Lugos, Lugus), Master of All the Arts and Crafts, dedicated this festival to his foster-mother, Tailtiu, the last queen of the Fir Bolg, who died from exhaustion after clearing a great forest so that the land could be cultivated. When the men of Ireland gathered at her death-bed, she told them to hold funeral games in her honor. As long as they were held, she prophesied Ireland would not be without song. Tailtiu’s name is from Old Celtic Talantiu, "The Great One of the Earth," suggesting she may originally have been a personification of the land itself, like so many Irish goddesses. In fact, Lughnasadh has an older name, Brón Trogain, which refers to the painful labor of childbirth. For at this time of year, the earth gives birth to her first fruits so that her children might live....

I was lucky enough to join a local coven for the ritual.  There was a lot of laughter and dancing and whooping with joy.  The high priestess cast a large circle and asked us to add energy to the loaf of bread she carried around so it would be blessed for the holiday.  Then we all feasted on a lovely potluck dinner.  Throughout the night there was fantastic lightning and storming with rain that was at times heavy and light.  At the end of the evening we all took away baskets that had beef jerky (for the hunt), granola (for the grain), dried fruit (for the harvest), and sunflower seeds.  I spread them around the edges of the fence around our home to give back to nature and share the bounty of the harvest.  

Fasting: the aftermath

I weighed myself this morning, and found that I had lost six pounds.  Fasting for a full twenty-four hours cleansed me in different ways than I was expecting.  I haven't done it in so long, and I've never given myself permission to drink water along with my fast.  It was the perfect combination, and this whole week I've been feeling much less inclination to drown emotional difficulties in food.  I'm excited about this new development, and true to my character, I'll probably try to go overboard with it and fast every week until I lose momentum.  Or possibly I'll just stick to phases of the moon.  I like the idea of fasting with the new moon.  It's a sort of empathetic connection--the moon hides her face and gives no light, no nourishment, and so I participate in the darkness by refusing nourishment from other sources until she begins to turn back.  (I am taking artistic license with this--I am well aware of the scientific realities of the phases of the moon...)

My phases, while not in sync with the phases of the moon, deserve to be recognized.  A true connection to the nature around me, with the spirits that inhabit every last molecule of this earth, is my ultimate goal.  I seek to know the Parents by fully embracing Their creations.  Fasting has become a surprising way for me to accomplish that.  I almost look forward to another day of hunger.  I just have to decide how often I want to torture myself.  I mean, cleanse myself.  ;)

In case you were wondering....

The correct way to pronounce Samhain is "shavnah".  If you're female, it's supposed to be "havnah", though these days most Gaelic-speaking people just use "shavnah".

Thanks to the post on this link for the information: http://www.paganspace.net/forum/topics/1342861:Topic:2464593

New Moon Fast

Like Jenni, I haven't fasted in quite some time.  It stopped being necessary to skip it a long time ago, but I got lazy.  The truth is, I hate fasting.  I hate thinking about food all day and wishing I could drink water so bad that I can't focus on anything else.   I never got any spiritual nourishment out of it.  I did it out of sense of obligation and guilt, and tried to pray extra hard for something while I was starving.
This time is a little different.  I couldn't really decide on something to focus on--though spiritual clarity is something I really need right now, and my husband could really use a decent job--so it's more of a "can I do this?" experiment.

Adding the lunar phase into the equation gave it more ritual for me, and made it more... doable?  I do better with things when there's structure and beauty added, even if neither is necessary for an action to have results.  Prayer doesn't need to be formal, but I can focus better if I'm lighting a candle and consciously thinking of the Deity I pray to after ritually purifying the area with salt or water or anything, really.  It doesn't make a difference in what God/dess hears, but I am focused and intent.  I am praying with purer intent than if I just get to my knees at the side of the bed and ask for stuff while hoping I don't fall asleep.  Or even falling to my knees and weeping because something is horribly wrong.  That is not praying with intent, it's crying out with barely any faith that I'm even being heard.  (at least for me--please don't take this as judgement on the way ANYONE else prays because I know it's different for everyone)

I have found that the ritual found in pagan traditions helps me to focus and ground myself before worshiping and praying and just living my life as a 'good Mormon'.  Some people may be uncomfortable with me calling a circle or purifying my house ritually with salt or seawater because it's not a necessary thing.  But it's necessary for me in order to calm my mind and spirit to the point where I can be receptive to inspiration and guidance from above.  I am still figuring out how to go about it, and how far to go with certain things, but I am feeling definitely guided to this path.  I feel joy in my heart when I contemplate adding ritual to my life, and I feel a deeper peace when reading on how to find what I truly believe in my heart.  I've spent so many years on borrowed light, that even some time in the darkness is a good thing because I will be able to light my own path soon.

So I've made it 22 hours with no food so far, though water was compromised on because I'm pretty sure I actually can't function without it.  At least not mentally, which is sorta necessary when I'm supposed to be focusing on something.  My focus has been on my behavior and mental and spiritual awareness as I do this.  This morning I could have been much more impatient with Sprout, but even though I was tired and hungry I was able to treat him with more respect and gentleness.  I was expecting more of an internal fight because I usually swing toward the hypoglycemic side of things, but it took very little effort.  And that made this whole thing worth it, no matter what else I may get out of it.

Book Review: Paganism

        Paganism    

                                    An Introduction to Earth-Centered Religions

                                    By Joyce and River Higginbotham

I went to the library a few days ago, armed with a list of books I wanted to read about women and pagan religions and goddesses.  I couldn’t find any books on my list, but I did a search for paganism, and this one popped up.  So I took it out and started reading it.  In between nursing Sprout, cooking dinner, hanging laundry to dry, and occasionally sleeping, I finished it in two days.  I couldn’t put it down.

The book is divided into seven chapters: What is Paganism?, You Are What You Believe, A Pagan View of Deity, What About Satan?, The Living Universe, Magick, and Ethics and Personal Responsibility. 

The first chapter dispels myths about witches and paganism and the people who practice any of the myriad of religions that fall under the umbrella of paganism.  The book is generalized toward the type of people who consider themselves pagans without focusing on one particular religion.  Some of the religions mentioned that fall under said umbrella are Celtic paganism, Druidism, Ceremonial Magick, Santeria, Voudon, Asatru, Shamanism, Eclectic paganism, Solitary paganism, Blended paganism, Wicca, and Family Traditions.  There is a brief description of each and its roots.

The rest of the book mainly focuses on finding what you believe.  It has exercises in each chapter—journal writings, meditations, group discussion questions, etc.—designed to help the reader find her way to whatever practice and/or religion fits what she believes.  There is a strong emphasis on personal responsibility, accountability, the sacredness and interconnectedness of Earth and all her living creatures, and ethics.  While different religions come to light in different sections, it gives a very interesting objective view of them and mainstream religions. 

My favorite part of this book is the emphasis on personal worship.  The meditations and exercises are designed not to ‘convert’ one to paganism, but to unlock what you truly believe in your heart and to remove limitations that keep you from practicing those beliefs.  The chapter on Magick compares spells and rituals to what other religions call prayer and divine inspiration—after reading the chapter, I agree!  Sending a thought or intent or ‘spell’ out to the ‘universe’ and expecting things to happen while going about doing everything you can to help it along is just about exactly the same as sending your prayer to Heavenly Parents and having faith in your righteous desires.  The authors even specify that if the inspiration you receive during meditation (or prayer, or whatever you want to call it) involves hurting someone else, or breaking the law, or hurting yourself, it’s not true inspiration and you should ignore it.

I highly recommend the book to anyone who wants to know more about paganism in general, or is seeking to bring more pagan ritual into her life but is concerned about the implications for church activity, or even anyone who is lost and looking for any religious or spiritual path.

http://www.amazon.com/Paganism-Introduction-Earth-Centered-Religions/dp/0738702226 (please go through The Amethyst Network if you want to buy this book, as they get a percentage of each sale: http://theamethystnetwork.org/  just use the amazon link on the right of the page)

Dryad

I was born into a conservative LDS family with convert parents.  I remained conservative for quite some time after I left the nest, and went through what I thought was a crisis of faith.  Really, it was just me not wanting to follow the rules and realizing that it made me miserable.  I went back to being conservative.  In the meantime, I got married to a brand-new convert who only stayed active for about a year.  My dear husband walking away from my precious religion was at first traumatic, but then it gave me permission to ask questions.  It also gave me permission to really dive into the strong connection I’ve always had with nature—water and trees, in particular.  I always had a strong desire to learn about paganism, but my conservative upbringing always stopped me.  I was terrified that I’d stray from the straight and narrow, join in pagan sex orgies, and completely lose my testimony and my soul.
Having a husband who doesn’t care about religion allowed me to search for myself for answers.  I recently became much more of a feminist than I ever thought possible, and I have been searching diligently for a Heavenly Mother that I never thought I had to know.  Thanks in large part to Jenni (my new permission-giver ;) ), I am finally embracing who I am, and I look forward to raising my toddler son with knowledge of the traditions and rituals that I am learning to enjoy. 
I am still an active member of the church, but my methods of worship are evolving so that I can comfortably walk the middle ground.  I’m excited to be here!

I blog at http://spiralgrove.blogspot.com/